struggle

am I forever doomed to be a night owl?

when I was in secondary school (especially form 5)
I used to be activest in between after Isyak until around 3-4 am
that was my time I actually study and do my works best

I still think that I am still the activest around this time
except

in university and in working life
being a night owl doesnt exactly acceptable

one needs to wakeup early
go to work
one needs to be most activest at 6 am and in the morning
which I called "the early bird"

and which is the complete opposite of me
the "night owl"

I tried soooo many times
trying to change myself
from night owl to early bird
which to no surprise
I failed each time

doesnt matter if I sleep early
or sleep late
I still ended up sleeping in the morning
I just cant be an early bird

which leads me thinking
am I forever doomed to be a night owl?
is it just who I am
is it in my gene? in my DNA?

and when I try to change myself
I failed (lots of time)
I got depressed
I dont do my works
I dont study

because the time I am most active
which is around 9 pm - 4 am
I spent worrying
"what if I sleep late and wokeup late again tomorrow"
"what if I do my works until 4 am and sleep late and when try to wakeup early, but be sleep deprived whole day tomorrow?"
"what if I just skip all night long sleeping"

but when I do sleep early
I still wokeup late
and still havent time to do my works

and this leads to more depressions
more stresses
more struggles

damn it
I hate myself

again,
am I doomed to be forever a night owl?